Take him earth for cherishing...

From a 4th-century poem by Aurelius Clemens Prudentius translated by Helen Waddell

Take him, earth, for cherishing,
to thy tender breast receive him.
Body of a man I bring thee,
noble even in its ruin.

Once was this a spirit's dwelling,
by the breath of God created.
High the heart that here was beating,
Christ the prince of all its living.

Guard him well, the dead I give thee,
not unmindful of his creature
shall he ask it: he who made it
symbol of his mystery.

Comes the hour God hath appointed
to fulfil the hope of men,
then must thou, in very fashion,
what I give, return again.

Not though ancient time decaying
wear away these bones to sand,
ashes that a man might measure
in the hollow of his hand:

Not though wandering winds and idle,
drifting through the empty sky,
scatter dust was nerve and sinew,
is it given to man to die.

Once again the shining road
leads to ample Paradise;
open are the woods again,
that the serpent lost for men

Take, O take him, mighty leader,
take again thy servant's soul.
Grave his name, and pour the fragrant
balm upon the icy stone.

"Issac, Issac, blessed must thou be...)

Ok, so I believe in being honest. The last post, not so nice... I am having some issues (obviously.) No insight for today, let's just listen to some music. Hows about Britten's Canticle II. Abraham and Issac. I think it might actually be one of the most powerful things he wrote. Two singers: a tenor who plays "Abraham" a Mezzo as "Issac" when they sing together they form the voice of God. Just a ravishing piece of music. Britten uses it in his War Requiem, another amazing work and statement on humanity, it really should be performed more often. Thinking about fathers today, this piece seemed fitting. At any rate, excuse the rantings of a crazy, sometimes you just got to let it out.

Another composer to look up: Luke Mayernik, he composed a work entitled A Requiem for Mr. Rodgers, lovely http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1742804.

I know all of the Requiem talk, it is almost November. Time to think of these things. Peace...

New hatred for unresolved issues

I hate you. I don't have proof that you did it but have a pretty good feeling that you have destroyed a part of my family. I hope that you pay you mother fucking douche bag.

In addition, I hate myself. I hate that I have to sit here and think day and night about things that I hove no control over. I hate that at any moment a strain of music can reduce me to silent blubbering. I hate that I am so strong and can't actually become the quivering mass of emotion that I feel, ever "normal" in my day to day life.

In an ever dwindling population of family I hate that my desire is to cease being, period.

So... at any rate,fuck you. You horrible horrible person, I refuse to allow you to have this control over me. You will not break who I am, and she will not be in vain.

"I heard a voice from heaven, saying unto me write..."

A very interesting odd time, you know how you have those pesky things called emotions? You may not be able to put a finger on what you are feeling, you just know that it is a feeling and that you will have to deal with it. Yeah, that's me... Sometimes life forces you to deal with very unpleasant things despite the fact that you are pretty sure that you are not ready for them. It is kind of like a big game of hide and seek, all of a sudden, something jumps out at you that you may not have anticipated, you shit your pants and then deal with it. That is all the further I want to go with that feeling right now, not a good time. (I know vague, I am not trying to be arty, just needed to write down some thoughts.)

A new favorite Hymn for this week. The text is Robert Bridges, the tune is Herbert Howells

My eyes for beauty pineMy soul for Goddes grace
No other care nor hope is mine
To heaven I turn my face
One splendour thence is shed from all the stars above
Tis named when God's name is said
Tis love, 'tis heavenly love
And every gentle heart that burns with true desire
Is lit from eyes that mirror part of that celestial fire

Howells is an interesting character, I am going to sing the tenor solo in his Requiem next month, it is one of the most meaningful pieces of music written in the 20th century in my estimation. Those 20th Century English composers knew how to portray emotion. At any rate here is a little blurb taken from http://www.cantate-choir.info/ProgrammeNotes/Howells-Requiem.php:

Howell's Requiem of 1936 was set for divided mixed chorus with soprano, tenor and baritone soloists. This unaccompanied work was the first of two which arose from the tragic death in 1935 of the composer's only son Michael Kendrick Howells, aged nine, from either miningitis or polio. (He had also found Elgar's death in 1934 difficult to bear). The writing of this work and Hymnus Paradisi (1938) achieved for Howells some 'release and consolation' from a 'loss essentially profound'. Both works have strong comparisons and contrasts but, although Hymnus Paradisi was released for publication in 1950 (with some persuasion from Vaughan Williams), it was not until 1980 that the Requiem was re-assembled from manuscript and released for publication and performance.

The six movements of the Requiem open with Salvator Mundi where the smooth melancholic opening is soon followed by a splitting of the choir to achieve answering phrases to the entreaty help us and save us. Psalm 23 is a simple, stark chanting style that reflects speech values. The Requiem aeternam (1) moves from desolation to hope and Psalm 121 reflects the syllabic style achieved earlier. Requiem aeternum (2) opens and ends with a calm stillness, the mid section having built up to an enlightening climax with et lux perpetua luceat. The final movement: I heard a voice from heaven achieves an air of blissful peace and is the summation of the release from torment that Howells must have wished for his child.

Listen to Herbert Howells, amazing...