New hatred for unresolved issues

I hate you. I don't have proof that you did it but have a pretty good feeling that you have destroyed a part of my family. I hope that you pay you mother fucking douche bag.

In addition, I hate myself. I hate that I have to sit here and think day and night about things that I hove no control over. I hate that at any moment a strain of music can reduce me to silent blubbering. I hate that I am so strong and can't actually become the quivering mass of emotion that I feel, ever "normal" in my day to day life.

In an ever dwindling population of family I hate that my desire is to cease being, period.

So... at any rate,fuck you. You horrible horrible person, I refuse to allow you to have this control over me. You will not break who I am, and she will not be in vain.