Hello

I started this about 5 months ago and just got around to posting it, many of these things are in progress, some further than others, I will update in coming posts:

So, over the last couple months I have come to re-evaluate my position in life. I made a list of goals:

Lose weight
Gain confidence
Focus on my art (I am an opera singer)
Deal with unresolved issues from my past

I know that this list is not particularly remarkable and that in fact most people probably have this same list of goals, so if you are looking for some sort of new idea or radical insight into the human state , this is probably not the blog for you. If you are nosey (it's ok I am) and interested in the effects of being an artistic male child growing up in a small town in Missouri then read on.

A little about me:

I am 28, 5'10". In August I will celebrate my 5th wedding anniversary and I have two daughters. I have struggled with my weight for the past ten years. I am not forklift out of your house obese but on that shitty chart that every doctor has I rank in the realm of fatties. I am a type one diabetic (part of the fat problem) and have a history of depression.

So we have covered some of the basic causes of the low-self esteme (Small Midwestern Town, incurable disorder, weight problem.)

The basic cause of the weight, let's just say I like to eat my fealings, and other people's and, well, you get the idea.

The Art: I have been singing forever, it is an activity that has defined my life. I have a master's degree in vocal performance. I have a great love for opera and liturgical music, and have some great things on my resume. Here is the thing, the stuff on that list above stops me from truly being an artist. I judge, I close down, I don't display the confidence that is needed to be great. Enough said.

The Weight: I have food issues, and a non-working pancreas enough said.

Confidence: see small midwestern town and a love of art, music and dance, enough said.

Unresolved issues: see also, Father's death, odd family, small midwestern town etc.